Presence

It is crazy to think how, at times, I feel more connected to who I was and who I aim to be when I am required to realize where and when I am. Right now. I’ve thought a lot about what it means to be here at this moment, and what I’ve found most comforting is that it’s where I’ve always been. It passes me by yet promptly arrives again then I have it to look forward to invariably. That sentiment didn’t quite mean much to me before. Maybe still, in some ways, it doesn’t, although as I grow, I begin to understand it a bit better each day. It becomes clearer to comprehend, and as it does, that knowledge is invested wisely back into this moment. I do so when I speak and in my conduct. I used to believe I had infinite time to indulge in my desires. In that thought, I did not discern the significance of crucial periods in my life that I missed out on in pursuit of the next thing. Remembering them in hindsight in the hopes of rectifying what I could, should I be lucky enough to see them again. As a consequence of that, I do my best to be here, sometimes my mind has a proclivity to wander, desiring to skip away to the future past difficult occasions, rewind to relive old experiences anew or sometimes, to nowhere in particular, simply not here but, I work to remind myself that I can’t lose sight of it, if I do, at what cost? 

I focus on inhabiting every instant of my life with purpose, and in exchange, I find a peace that I can’t quite explain. I don’t need to because I am content. At times I find joy, laughter, sadness, and even anger, and though those feelings are short-lived, the circumstances they exist within are not. Therefore, that is where I place my attention. They live on, in my memory or as a reminder of what I have next to anticipate. I will do my best to remain and appreciate every moment I occupy and those within them with whom I’m fortunate enough to share them. I learn from and grow more admiration for time. I value it tremendously, even if I don’t always get it all right.

Presence.